Love, Loss, and Color: Artist Irene Delka McCray Brings Mother’s Story to Life at the ArtBank

McCook, Neb. — “I’m not here,” Irene Delka McCray’s mother said one day, pressing her hands to her face during a video call in the middle of the COVID-19 lockdown. For McCray, those words were heartbreaking, funny, and profound all at once—and they became the title of one of her most powerful works, a large-scale colored pencil portrait included in her exhibit Mother, Lasting.

On Saturday afternoon, the ArtBank in McCook hosted McCray for an intimate artist talk that was as emotional as it was inspiring. Audience members laughed, teared up, and shared their own stories of caring for aging loved ones as McCray spoke about her mother’s journey with dementia and how painting became both a way to cope and a way to honor her.

“I Became Her Everything”

McCray, a nationally recognized painter with work in the Denver Art Museum and Kirkland Museum of Fine and Decorative Art, is known for her bold use of color and life-size figure studies. But Mother, Lasting is deeply personal.

“My mother had Alzheimer’s. It was very gradual,” she told the audience. “At the end, she couldn’t remember short-term things anymore—she was living in her imagination. But that was a world I could meet her in, because as an artist, imagination is where I already live.”

She described how their roles reversed as the disease progressed:

“I became her everything. If someone asked her what she wanted to eat, she’d say, ‘Ask my daughter. She’s my brain.’”

The paintings in Mother, Lasting depict intimate, unflinching moments: her mother with eyes closed in quiet surrender, wrinkles rendered with the same reverence as the bark of an old tree, and, in one striking work, her mother’s hands covering her face as she said those three haunting words—“I’m not here.”

Beauty in Wrinkles and Imperfection

McCray is unapologetically honest in her portrayal of aging.

“I don’t want to pretend we don’t get old, get wrinkles, and become strange. There’s beauty in all of it,” she said.

She often paints larger than life, and in this series, that choice was deliberate.

“My mom had to be huge—her impact on me was huge,” she explained.

Color plays a vital role, too. McCray laughed as she described how her own mother loved beige, while she avoids it completely.

“I hate beige,” she said with a grin. “I see the world in purples, pinks, and blues. People tell me my colors aren’t realistic, but these are the colors I feel.”

Several pieces also feature leaves layered over the figures, erased into the drawings rather than drawn on top. “The wrinkles on leaves remind me of the wrinkles on skin,” she said. “It’s about going back to nature, because that’s where we all return.”

The Caregivers, the Forgotten, and the Funny Stories

While the work is deeply personal, it also carries a broader message.

“I’ve heard people say the elderly are a drain on the system. That makes me sad. These are our vulnerable old ones—people who deserve our care,” McCray said.

She shared stories of visiting her mother almost daily at assisted living—sometimes standing outside the window in the snow during COVID restrictions—and forming bonds with other residents.

“Even the ones with dementia were funny,” she said. “They had a way of connecting. My mom once told the entire dining room there had been a fire that burned all the trees. It was winter, of course—but I just said, ‘Yes, that was a terrible fire, but everything will grow back.’ Why correct her? That was her reality.”

A Milestone for McCook’s Arts Scene

ArtBank co-founder Chad Graff welcomed the crowd, noting how much the local arts scene has grown. Graff praised the volunteers and programs that are helping make McCook a creative hub, including the new studio program for artists with disabilities.

The talk was arranged in part through Lucas Kotschwar, a former student of McCray’s whose own work is displayed at the ArtBank. Kotschwar introduced his former mentor and later joined her in a Q&A session, sharing how much her work has influenced him as both an artist and an art advocate.

“This show may be about the elderly among us, but it’s really about connection—how we change, and how we show up for each other,” Kotschwar said.

With McCray’s work now hanging on the ArtBank’s walls, the talk felt like another step forward for McCook’s growing reputation as a place where art sparks meaningful conversations.